you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
