Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I want is dick and wine.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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