Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
