I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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