You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
