You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
