I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
