Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
