Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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