If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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