I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
