If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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