if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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