census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
