is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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