She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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