So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
