I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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