are you still at the devil's house?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
