I wish I could teleport
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
