dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
