watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
