I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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