I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
is that a dick in a sweater?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
