I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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