Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
