ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
