she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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