we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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