I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
