Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
