this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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