Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
