So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
