Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize