i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
