YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
