You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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