she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
