Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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