Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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