it wasn't lemon gatorade
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
