Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
