I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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