she looked like the bat from fern gully.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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