It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
