I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
