she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
