Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
