I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
