I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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