I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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