So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
