bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
