I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
