So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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