In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize