yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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