Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
