I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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