If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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