she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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