you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
