He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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