So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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