if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
