I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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