Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize