are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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