too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She bit a glass in half.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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