I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
