He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
