Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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