I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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