I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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