On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
